I’ve been doing some reading on Happiness.  I’m re-reading an old book by Paul Coleman, Psy.D., entitled 30 Secrets of Happily Married Couples.  By his measure, after nearly thirty years of marriage, Linda and I actually stacked up pretty well…, especially if you ignore my contributions to the marriage!
Here recently, I just saw where, at the annual meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science, they reported on a review of 51 studies that tested attempts to increase happiness.  The results were published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology and guess what they discovered the #1 ingredient for personal happiness was?  – GIRL SCOUT COOKIES!! I’ve always known I was intuitively gifted when it came to sniffing out happiness!!  No, I’m just kidding.  They did not identify that Girl Scout cookies were causal for Happiness.  But they did surface what research determined to be
The 5 ways to be Happier.
Experts attribute about 50% of a person’s Happiness to genes; and another 10% to circumstances—where we live, how much money we make, how healthy we are. That leaves 40% of our happiness in our control. Fortunately, science has much to say about how we can make the most of that 40%. Even small improvements in mood can have accumulative effects.  Here are five things science has recently discovered which can improve happiness:

1. Be grateful 2. Be optimistic 3. Count your blessings 4.Use your strengths 5. Commit acts of kindness

Wow!  Let’s see, the finest minds gather to review all of the happiness research which the psychological big dog, brainiacs have accumulated, and this is the list they come up with?!  Funny, quite some time ago, some off the street, former Jew turned Christian fanatic said repeatedly, “Rejoice always, and in all things, give thanks!” -1 Thessalonians. The same nut then references, “All things work together for good for those who love the Lord…” Romans 8 – talk about optimism!  Then he had the nerve (chutzpah) to make this observation: “So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith.” Galatians 6. Then the same guy does some more research and reports his findings to the church at Rome where he says: “Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other. In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well.” Romans 12.  Finally this dude, without a Ph.D., LPCC, MD, or a research credential of any sort makes the brash assertion: “Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4. On this last one I will cut Paul some slack because he at least referenced a guy who has spent more years researching human behavior and the heart and mind of man more so than any other researcher in history.  When HE talks about secrets to Happiness, I’m gonna pay close attention…, though I have to confess, I still find it hard to believe HE left out Thin Mints!!

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The 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud lady, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o’clock, with her hair fashionably coifed and makeup perfectly applied, even though she is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. Her husband of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary.

After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready. As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on her window. “I love it,” she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.

“Mrs. Jones, you haven’t seen the room…just wait.”  “That doesn’t have anything to do with it,” she replied. “Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn’t depend on how the furniture is arranged… it’s how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it “It’s a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.

Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I’ll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I’ve stored away … just for this time in my life. Old age is like a bank account … you withdraw from what you’ve put in. So, my advice would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories.
(author unknown)

THINK POSITIVE-  “I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.  And so it is with you…we are in charge of our Attitudes.” -Charles R. Swindoll

–kudos to Dave Burchett whose own blog article on 5 Ways to be Happier, “Confessions of a Bad Christian” helped with inspiration for this article.

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“The second gift brought out of the luggage by the Magi was frankincense. Frankincense is a very costly and fragrant incense. It is a gum distilled from a tree found in the Middle East. It is a white resin or gum, and is obtained by slitting the bark of the “Arbor Thurisfrom”, allowing the gum to flow out (there will be a test). The word actually means “whiteness”, referring to the white colored juice which flows out of the wound in the tree. This gum hardens for three months, and is gathered at the end of the summer, and sold in the form of “tears”, or clumps of hardened resin. Frankincense is highly fragrant when burned, and was, therefore, used in worship, where it was burned as a pleasant offering to God. It is interesting to note that this sweet smelling resin comes as the result of the tree’s woundedness and pain. It is cut open and bleeds to give us the sweet smelling scent. The spiritual parallel is interesting. When we can worship God in the midst of our sorrow, our brokenness, then it is a sweet smelling offering to our Lord.”

King David wrote, “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.” (Psalms 51:17 )

A good reminder for us all as we deal with any of a variety of of difficult circumstances in our lives.

Several weeks ago, a friend shared with me that he had been struggling recently.  Life has gotten really challenging, and he said he began to feel like God no longer cared about him.  In fact, he started to wonder if God even existed.  To soothe these feelings of deep spiritual emptiness he did what any level-headed Christian does in moments like these – he went to Tim Horton’s to get an Ice Cappuccino.

(For those of you who live on other planets and do not know what this phenomenon is – let’s just say that these  frozen drinks are designed to simulate the accumulation of every scrumptious oral craving you’ve had since childhood, put it a plastic glass with a straw, and then, upon consumption, harden each and every artery which exists in your body.)

Sorry.  I digress.    I’ll  quit salivating and continue.  My friend got to the drive-thru cashier, only to discover that the person ahead of him had paid for his drink.  He intimated, “Bob, I know it sounds ridiculous, but my despondence turned immediately to joy.  I felt like God was reminding me that He was not only aware of my major life issues, but He also cared about my simplest daily desires.“  Well let me tell you, my friend’s words brought a Cheshire cat grin to my face.

You see, for the past several years, Linda, Laura and I started a new Uhle tradition on Christmas Eve by going to multiple fast food drive-thru’s and paying for the order of the person in line behind us.  Up until this past month when my friend shared with me, we’d never had any indication of what impact our efforts might have made.  When Laura was younger, she’d made homemade Christmas cards which said, “It’s all about Jesus.  Have a Merry Christmas!” for the cashier to give to the people who followed us in the drive thru. Beyond  watching them through the rear-view mirror, and possibly seeing them wave to us as we pulled away, we’ve never known what difference, if any,  we’ve made.

When we consider that God has done much the same for each of us – He got in line ahead of us and paid the price for our choices – perhaps it’s time we found ways to pass on even a small bit of the grace which has been extended to us.  This might happen by verbally sharing the truth of Christmas with someone, or it might  be seen when we act in ways which are redemptive towards others.  On Saturday, Greg and I will explore ways we might want to consider reflecting God’s glory – God’s love to those around us.

Perhaps you have some things you or your family have have done.  Maybe you have some ideas you’d like to pass onto us and others.  If you are near your computer or radio on Saturday, 12/12, at Noon, check out the show at 880 AM, WRFD or go to www.wrfd.com.  You can call in and share at 1-888-823-9733;  or comment and share here; or go to our Facebook by typing in Saving Face with Bob and Greg, share and become a Fan!

We’d love to hear your ideas.  For now, I’m thinkin’ of  moseying over to Tim Horton’s…, to do some ministry of course!

Bob: Over the years Greg and I have discovered just how difficult it is for young families to keep their sanity when it comes to balancing visits between each spouse’s families.  Through some divine guidance (mind you there is a litte ‘d’ and not a big ‘D’ in the word ‘divine’!), questionable humor, and muted wisdom, we’ve arrived at a tool we believe will help sort out family visitation priorities.  Re-introducing to you, The S.H.A.F.T. – Strategic Holiday Acrimonious Family Test!!

 Greg: The S.H.A.F.T. goes something like this. You give points (or deduct points) for various aspect of going to each of the parental units’ home during a traditional gathering. Then, you add up the scores to see which side of the family has the most points. The one with the most points wins a visit by the newly weds.

Bob: Here we go:

Parent pressures newlyweds with threats, guilt, manipulation, or whining: -50 points

Parent says (honestly) “We’d love to have you join us, but it’s okay if you don’t:” +50 points

A family member hurls put downs at your spouse: -50 points (-100 if it’s the mother-in-law, +5 if it’s a jealous sibling)

The drive requires you to spend the night: -50 points (Note: If the trip is greater than a 4.5 hour drive, it gets an automatic bump to every-other-year consideration).

Family members are kinda normal: +20 points

Grandma drinks excessively and starts singing old show tunes: +30 points

Upon arrival you are asked to help trim the tree: +20 points

Upon arrival you are expected to go get the tree, and then put up the exterior Christmas lights and display.: -50 points

Excessive odors emanating from places other than the stove or oven: -25 points

Prize belcher can only get to letter “H”: -10 points

Prize belcher can get through the whole alphabet: +25 points

Older family member slips you an envelope with cash: +50 points

Older family member slips you an envelope with pictures: -50 points

Family member recently won the lottery: +25 points

Family member recently joined a network marketing “opportunity”: -25 points

Food is really good: +10 pts points (amazingly good is worth +25)

Have to pretend that the food is really good: -10 points

Spouse maintains the same emotional age throughout visit: +25

Spouse regresses to age 13 emotionally as soon as the door is opened: -40

There’s a big Screen TV: +20 points

Big screen TV only shows old home movies: -20 points

You must sleep in a child’s bedroom while they bunk with their sibling: – 20 points

You get the king sized bed: +50 points 

You get the king sized bed in the room with paper thin walls: -25 points 

Can call it quits and go home at any time: +50

Greg: Now, make your calculations and see who wins.

Bob: If the test didn’t work, you could just suck it up and go both places. Appreciate them while they are still in your life.

Greg: Or, stay home and do your own thing – just remember that the folks you dis now may be the very people you look to for good, cheap babysitting in the future.

Bob: Lastly, if either of you feel like you HAVE to go to all parents, this is an indicator of deeper issues and you NEED to see a therapist.

Greg: Second lastly, there really is a reason for this season, and it has nothing to do with trying to please everyone.  In the final analysis, there is only One whom we ought to be seeking to please. 

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