bobs’log: New Drivers – a Rite of Passage for parents and teens!
Posted by Bob | Posted in Family, Kids, Parenting, Teenagers, Uncategorized | Posted on 10-04-2010-05-2008
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Greg and I broached the subject of dealing with New Drivers… This after almost being late because we got behind one on the drive over from Hilliard this morning. Greg kept his cool, as he is oft to do, and we made it with a whole 2 minutes to spare. Vinnie T. now has heart palpitations! But, I digress.
Since Greg and I both have budding almost sixteen year old daughters who yearn to be behind the wheel,we’re keenly aware of the
issues.
I’ve got an idea: Let’s wait until our children show the very first signs of emotional maturity, some of which actually last for, oh thirty to sixty minutes at a stretch. Let’s take them nearly a decade before their brains have completely settled into full cognitive and affective function at a time when their hormones are most seriously raging…, and then let’s put them behind the wheel of a 2000 lb. killing machine! Sounds like the government’s being effective again.
Local Psychologist and Mid Ohio Race Driver trainer, Dr. Eric Pickering had some key tips to share with us. He suggested that parents play a key role in keeping new drivers safe behind the wheel. He offered these 3 tips:
- Set good rules and restrictions. Limit times the kids will drive (not at night), set time limits, speed limits, road restrictions and other rules. Do not have other teens in the car when they drive. And then parents MUST follow through with appropriate consequences, and enforce the rules.
- Practice, practice, practice! Make sure kids get lots repetitions of various driving scenarios- practice starting, accelerating, turning, stopping and backing up, parking. Have them practice their driver readiness routine beginning with the9ir seat belt, seat adjustment, adjustment of the mirrors, loights on, etc.. So much of what they need to learn needs to come to them as second nature, and the only way to make things second nature is by doing them repeatedly. Again, it is parents who should provide this…., not just some driving school. Find a huge parking lot, and start there and then work you way into a low traffic neighborhood.
- Teach your kids to think ahead and anticipate. They can learn about what turns are ahead, or what potential traffic patterns will be like if we parents will ask them good questions which will help them to consider what’s around the next corner and map the route for where they are heading.
Dr. Pickering has considerable experience both in working with teens as the school Psychologist for Grandview High School, and also as a race car driving instructor. We were grateful for his input.
Some other thoughts to consider:
1. Practice what you preach. Remember new drivers learn by example too. Your behavior behind the wheel is probably more influential than the driving techniques you teach.
2. Be proactive. Long before your new driver actually gets behind the wheel, you can help him or her become aware of safe driving practices. Teach them to pump gas, change a tire, know the AAA #, Learn how to jump start the car, What to do if pulled over by Law Enforcement;
3. Plan for potential bad decisions: Tell your Teen – “If you ever make a bad decision; drinking with friends, at a party or not where you’re supposed to be; even if someone else is driving – if you call me for a ride or for help and I won’t chew you out or react. I’ll recognize how mature it was of you to call for help.”
4. Keep your temper. Loud voices and big gestures are distracting. If you get angry, calmly instruct your teen to pull off the road. Remember to praise. Positive reinforcement and compliments can help cement good driving behavior. “the anger of man does not accomplish the righteousness God desires….”
5. Long before they ever drive…,talk to them while you drive and tell them why you do the things you do, and see the things you see.
Finally, the best advice we have to give is what we both have to do right now. I need to go get a pair of holey jeans. Okay, now you think I misspelled that, but in truth, it can and should be spelled both ways – ‘holey’ and ‘holy’. When you have a fifteen year old daughter, you’ll understand, it’s time to wear out your knees… and pray!!
