Last Saturday on Saving Face with Bob and Greg, we explored male selfishness. We agreed that this is just another urban myth! Either that, or it is kinda like the swine flu – it really exists; it’s not good; and it only seems to happen to other people! (Linda and Stacy are not permitted to view this post.) 
Certainly, WE wouldn’t ever be selfish pigs, right?!

When asked, most guys say they’d be willing to take a bullet for their wife/girlfriend…, but will they push a vacuum?!  We like to look at scriptures which talk about loving our neighbor as ourself  to help us quit being selfish (Phil. 2.3-4).  Keith called into the show on Saturday and pointed out that Jesus turned this up a notch when he said “Love one another as I have loved you.”  Serving others suddenly quits being transactional, and calls us to  give, even when we won’t get back.  Sometimes it means to give, even when the other doesn’t deserve it. 
I (Bob) hate it!   Linda is so much m0re of a servant than I am. Many times when I’m giving of myself, in the back of my mind I’m keeping score!!  Wretched man that I am, who can save me from this body of death?   That’s why, as I grow older, I’m more convinced of my need for a Savior.  The closer to the light I get, the more my cracks and darkness are exposed.  This also happens when you’ve been married a while.  Linda and I have been married nearly 29 years, and the longer we’re in this relationship, the more completely exposed we are – and, the more we are called to live unselfishly and love unconditionally (whether it’s taking a bullet or even – heaven forbid – pushing a vacuum).

Here are nine rules for being an unselfish husband. Can you give me one more to make it a “top ten” list?

An unselfish husband…

10 …won’t make important purchases or decisions without his wife’s collaboration or input.

9 …notices and cares how his wife is doing – tired, happy, frustrated, stressed, amorous, etc.

8 …does things with the wife that she likes to do, even though it’s not his own preference (and this kindness doesn’t get turned into a “trade” or bartering chip afterwards).

7 …respects his wife’s perspectives, opinions and preferences.

6 …accepts his spouse’s “no” when feeling amorous and the spouse is not.

5 …is willing to serve his wife in ways that do not result in either his benefit or accolades.

4 …is willing to put self at risk for the safety or security of his wife.

3 …does not manipulate his wife’s feelings to get what he want

2 …gives affection to his wife more than as just a “come on” for sex!